So I saw this cute girl going down the street with an amazing ass. I was all “DAMN GIRL, YOU GOT AN AMAZING ASS.” She was like “thanks, there’s a sale across the block, I got him there.” Now I have a pet donkey too, he was five bucks and his name is Leopold. And he hates thunderstorms.
(Source: dave-youfool)via carolxne
Do you ever start rubbing your eyes and then it feels really good and you can’t stop so it’s like eye masturbation
(Source: frnkoreo)via perks-of-being-chinese
Why do people always use the “adam and eve” argument when they are trying to justify why they think it’s wrong to be gay? I mean, Adam and Eve committed the first sin and caused the downfall of all mankind after them. They’re not exactly what I would call role models.
remember when we were kids and we used to all sing that demented version of the barney song where it was like “i hate you you hate me let’s go out and kill barney”
i don’t remember ever doing this. you were a fucked up kid
i hate you
you hate me
let’s go out an kill barney
with a baseball bat
and a 4x4
NO MORE PURPLE DINOSAUR